The Blog at the End of the Universe

2006-03-28T21:55:00.000-08:00

Start with 100%, and take away 1% for everything you've done/that's happened to you on this list. Put the number you are left with in the subject line. (EXAMPLE: if you did ONE thing you would put 99%)

Smoked.
Drank alcohol.
Cried when someone died.
Been drunk.
Had sex.
Been to a concert.
Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.
Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
Been verbally/sexually harassed.
Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Been to prom.
Cried at school.
Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
Went streaking.
Given a lap dance.
Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
Kissed a stranger.
Hugged a stranger.
Went scuba diving.
Driven a car.
Gotten an xray.
Hit by a car.
Had a party.
Done drugs.
Played strip poker.
Got paid to strip for someone.
Ran away from home.
Broken a bone.
Eaten sushi.
Bought porn.
Watched porn.
Made porn.
Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
Been in love.
Frenched kissed.
Laughed so hard you cried.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Laughed yourself to sleep.
Stabbed yourself.
Shot a gun.
Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
Watched an animal die.
Watched a person die.
Had sex and/or messed around somewhere with atleast person present.
Pranked somebody.
Put somebody in the hospital.
Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
Kissed somebody of the same sex.
Dressed punk.
Dressed goth.
Dressed preppy.
Been to a motocross race.
Avoided somebody.
Been stalked.
Stalked someone.
Met a celebrity.
Played an instrument.
Ridden a horse.
Cut yourself.
Bungee jumped.
Ding dong ditched somebody.
Been to a wild party.
Got caught stealing something.
Kicked a guy in the balls.
Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
Went out with your friend's crush.
Got arrested.
Been pregnant.
Babysat.
Been to another country.
Started your house on fire.
Had an encounter with a ghost.
Donated your hair to cancer patients.
Been asked out by someone that you never though you'd to be asked out by.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
Sat on your ass all day.
Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
Had a job.
Gotten cut from a sports team.
Been called a whore.
Danced like a whore.
Been mistaken for a celebrity.
Been in a car accident.
Been told you have beautiful eyes.
Been told you have beautiful hair.
Raped somebody.
Danced in the rain.
Been rejected.
Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
Punched someone/slapped someone in the face

My Score: 19% (did it in my head so give or take one or two)

BSOD

2006-03-16T00:10:00.000-08:00

http://www.forbesautos.com/advice/toptens/billionaire/02-bill_gates.html

Rumor has it that Bill Gates and Paul Allen employed Microsoft engineers to write a computer program that could simulate the 959’s crashworthiness......

Microsoft wrote a program to simulate the crash related tendancies of an untested, questionably safe car.

I think they called it Windows.

2006-03-09T20:53:00.001-08:00

xas umop ap!sdn

2006-03-09T20:53:00.000-08:00

Oh no stinky! You got a haircut!
-E

2006-01-12T00:46:00.000-08:00

Because everybodys doin it

( ) stayed single the whole year
(x) got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
(x) made-out for the first time
(x) made-out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) fell in love
( ) fell in love with a fool
(x) had your heart broken
(?) broke someone else's heart
(x) had a stalker
(x) had a good relationship with someone
(x) questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) had a gay marriage
(x) kissed someone of the same sex
(x) dated someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted
( ) lost your true love
(x) lost faith in love

WORK/SCHOOL

( ) got a promotion
( ) got a pay raise
(x) changed jobs
( ) lost your job
(x) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss' daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
(x) met one teacher you really like
(x) met one teacher you really hated
(x) found the subject you love
( ) failed a class
(x) cut class
(x) skipped school
( ) got into a fight with a classmate
(x) did something you were proud of
(x) gave the teachers a reason to teach
(x) proved yourself an idiot
(x) embarassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
( ) got a lead in the school play
( ) made a varsity team
(x) were involved in something you'll never forget
( ) got sent to the office

OTHER

( ) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
( ) triple dipped
( ) quadruple dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went to camp
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) flirted shamelessly
(x) visited a foreign country
(x) visted a foreign state
( ) cooked a disasterous meal
(x) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) realized something new about yourself
( ) went on a diet
( ) tried to gain weight
(x) dyed your hair
(x) came close to losing your life
( ) someone close to you died
(x) went to a party
(x) drank alchohol
(x) drank alchohol underage
( ) did drug(s)
(x) got drunk
(x) got arrested
(x) read a great book
(x) saw a great movie
( ) saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
(x) saw your favorite band/artist live
( ) saw someone famous in person
(x) did something you want to tell everyone

(x) Enjoyed this year overall.

49 Xs.... I think I win so far

2005-10-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

My penguin is angered!

2005-10-19T19:03:00.000-07:00

Feeling sensations that you thought was dead

2005-10-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

Smells of... oh no manniquins

Happycat has run out of happy.

2005-09-24T02:33:00.000-07:00

Fuck the strange folk.

2005-09-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

Alice: i need to do APES

2005-09-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

Next tuesday ill be naked, and ill have a printer.
-semi

2005-09-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

Rg: Why are we eating potato?
Ff: I dunno, its something to do.

2005-09-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

You kicked a fat man on the ground, youre going to hell!
-trojanman

2005-09-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

Consider, if you will.... 92233720368547758071.

2005-09-14T04:15:00.000-07:00

Oh right, i owe you penis surgery
-semi

2005-09-07T23:27:00.000-07:00

(23:18:01) Taylor: since you have it..
(23:18:03) Taylor: in any case
(23:18:05) Taylor: let me borrow it
(23:18:15) Alice: hey!!
(23:18:17) Alice: get in line!!
(23:18:20) HeadFullOfMaggot: how big is it?
(23:18:21) Alice: im first

....questionable....

2005-09-03T21:18:00.000-07:00

You have no purpose or memory, youre a mac!

2005-09-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

The bra counts!
-c

This Life Is More Than Just A Read Through.

2005-09-02T00:38:00.000-07:00

Cant stop.

Havent posted in a while. Like, a reeeal poast. (Its like a toasted post)

III's place still isnt achieved. Damn.
Currently I lack a view of the place.

I still want a meaning, and not from the front. Give it to me me.

I think I might be going slightly mad.

84 is so damn base 4. Like, trippery.

The parkity is also trippery. Need go night personness. The bat is my friend.

Why did the chicken go to the RHPS? The movie poster at the highlands doesnt know either.

I should eat more poast.

2005-09-02T00:22:00.000-07:00

I think I should go into porn.... I can do phone sex!
-At

The trouble with the comp sci tribble

2005-08-31T10:37:00.000-07:00

*fuzzy slippers are sitting on file cabinet with ^Tribble sign*

Me: Careful dont hurt the tribble
Sub: Pfft. Star trek geek.
Me: Nah I dont even like Star Trek, I just like fuzzy stuff.
Sub: ...Hmm.. Thats respectible.

2005-08-31T10:35:00.000-07:00

Im the foot fuckin mastah!
-taylor

2005-08-29T17:06:00.000-07:00

All night long I dream of the day...

2005-08-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

Double rape goodness!
-taylor

2005-08-25T23:09:00.000-07:00

2004 isnt a year, idiot!

2005-08-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

Im gonna stab you with a table

2005-08-22T19:14:00.000-07:00

Dont bite me with your nose!

2005-07-24T17:07:00.000-07:00

Unspecified fatal error encountered, aborting.

Dont misread error messages... I replaced the first a in fatal with an e.

Me and my computer are going to hell.

Here = 1

2005-07-06T02:02:00.000-07:00

Im back

2005-06-30T08:38:00.000-07:00

Since you bloody Americans with your -8 GMT arent awake yet this shall be my message center.
(Im approx. 50 feet away from the GM)

Trey: What time are you leaving on 2005.7.3?

Mishka: Again thanks for camera even though I still suck at it. Also thanks for Good Omens, damn good book (finished it)

Paul (and anyone else interested) : http://www.icomplex.org/flyers/coreflyer1.jpg anyone in?

Bitch: Baaaaaaaaah

Anyone going to Rocky on the 9th: You know its not at La Paloma, right? Check the website

Thats all I can think of right now, I might be on late thursday night at around 2am (I think anyway, time difference is confusing). Maybe.

I miss you all. Be back in not too long, but not soon enough as far as Im concerned.

Sitting in an English garden.....

Here = 0

2005-06-23T11:18:00.000-07:00

Im afk.

In that place with the tea and the monarchy.

God killed the queen.

Back 2005.7.3

2005-06-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

You cant stick it in that way

School = 0

2005-06-18T13:05:00.001-07:00

School over.
Yay. Shit. Damn. Fun. Not Fun. Go. Stay. Weee.

Last night fun.
Failed kidnapping. Oh well.
Line fun. Lots of ravers. Bring car, techno, open windows, volume. Rave!
Rocky not too bad. Felt bad for thing with person with the no. Oh well.
Dennys fun. More ravers. More music. More rave!
Drop off. No sleep yet.
4 am. Red tide! Beach.
Best thing ever. Dark. No one. Cold wind. Glowing waves. Mmmmmm.

Now, bored.
Car dealership. Service. Waiting.
I pwn their computer.
Soon get car.
Later not bored I think.

This = list only y78ijh awedxzawedxz gyujnb (bkqkd)

So. Yay.

2005-06-17T23:38:00.000-07:00

"The words 'give me the paddle' never end well"
-p

Rave!

2005-06-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

Im a man magnet!
-th

w0rd press

2005-06-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

wurd! I don't rant. This isn't a rant. Rant rant rant. This isn't birna.-aa`1

2005-06-13T15:59:00.000-07:00

Stop hotdoging or ill orange you with this pulp fiction!

2005-06-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

Can I... pleasure myself with this?

...Yaaay

-jl

2005-06-09T16:55:00.000-07:00

I can drive with one hand, how useful!
*puts hand on lap*
Now all I have to do is tape porn on the windshield!

-7

2005-06-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

Me: When I havent got a thing to do, ill come to your house

T: ....Lets keep that between me and you

2005-06-07T11:49:00.000-07:00

Im sorry, I dont speak asian!

2005-06-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

Crappy People Are Strange covers make satan cry!

2005-06-05T23:09:00.000-07:00

Cheeses Christ!

2005-06-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

Its a kitty!

2005-06-05T03:04:00.000-07:00

Not c4 i meant co2

2005-06-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

Brian, touch me.
-...,

2005-06-02T17:44:00.000-07:00

Hey you know whats fun to put in your... Wait nm
-trailer

2005-06-02T13:39:00.000-07:00

Trees were around before life was around! Period!

2005-05-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

Bitch: *points at tree*
Is that half life?!?

2005-05-27T09:50:00.000-07:00

Off to happy land! Where birds and candles laugh all day!

2005-05-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

You just put in to words what I... would have never thought of!

4 dollars, 1 arrow (yesnomaybe)

2005-05-23T01:38:00.000-07:00

Damn!
I think pixellation
yes
I need ctrlshifteye of a portion of the issue, you know where that goes no no you dont
hell do I know?
yes
maybe
nonononono

I think I posess great 0+$
John
well yeah
but david
damn!
elizibeth!

...A STORY FROM THE POSSIBLE FUTURE OR NOT...

From the top
000000
5!
1 1 1 1 1
down now
88
66

...THE END (?) ...

(That buisness of couse depends on the 5 and the 1 not just being infinite)

So ha!

...
epyikj juix trlsvw a,.eq; mtnv epyikj f78chd 13,' 67gdiy 2'` bhtw o.pujq a,.eq; epyikj hcrnwm
yesnomaybe?
Im confuzzed

2005-05-22T02:20:00.000-07:00

Does he count as a moving vehicle?
-jl

2005-05-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

Youve managed to succesfully drill me!
-jl

2005-05-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

Theres no tax on prostitution right?
-Jl

2005-05-21T18:49:00.000-07:00

Its people like you that make me want to commit suicide
-A to j.l.

Wow and yay and other monosyallibic expressions of that sort with an air of uncertainty

2005-05-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

In an odd way this day I say

My schooldays insane!
No
But it was a cornflake.
The blue bus.
The hampsters that are always watching. Yeahhhhh.
(see, non numeric obstrufication!)

Something. Yeahh.
Not once in a lifetime.
Both the catchness negitive, I hope title negitive!
Nothing more than less than more.
As far as abbot and costello its that old tyme rock n roll. But I like it.
Its a kinda something.
And you know I believe in how.

REM now.
Something.
Doooont know. Maybe what?
Yeahh.

2005-05-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

Im in math. Trying to plot (x,y).

X = 558 + 1/558 + 1 * |558|
Y = (2/0.001) + |(74 nPr 3)|

That right? Maybe.

Whats (x,y)? The answer to a question that was asked to me by the things in that pink cd (not the reptilian royalty).

2005-05-11T20:21:00.000-07:00

Its astounding, time is fleeting. Me confuzzed. Expectations dissapoofed. Machines dehumanize. Maybe we'll see today. Stuff good but must be productive.

"...or during..." wtf/lol/damn

2005-05-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

Deal with both addictions now. Caffiene now. Then skype. Hope the bracelet is right t-ray.

2005-05-10T00:32:00.000-07:00

558. Skype. No. Yes. Good. Bad. 558 so good. 558 so bad. Skype. No. Yes. Maybe.

You can hear nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are.

2005-04-25T23:25:00.000-07:00

Sniff sniff.

This is a blog.
This is not a blog.

Is your computer impressed? Wonderful.

Welcome, good luck ever actually finding updates.